If I can just write and blog consistently the way I eat, sleep, bath, pray and go into office day in day out, life will be much easier for me. No need to makan gaji, no need to be so scared of what the future may bring. Just do it because it’s part of everyday routine that is as natural as breathing.

I wonder where this lack of consistency comes from. What triggers it. Why is it so difficult for me to maintain my interest and discipline in doing something that I supposedly love so much and is part of my longtime interest. What the heck is wrong, so I can make it right?

Limbo, man. Limbo.

Or should I just say to hell with the source, and every time it starts just stop it and continue to consistently strive to improve myself? I don’t need a reason to fall into a bad habit. Why should I need a reason to grow into a good habit then?

I know I’m rambling right now, but I’m practicing the art and science of just let go of anything that I am thinking on screen before I lost it. Perhaps by doing this I get some sensible stuffs to put into a formal writing, i.e.  the first book of fiction that I want to publish so badly but can’t seem to start. Hahaha.

So I need a buddy and a group. All good it did me before. Perabih duit yang penat-penat cari dengan kerja makan gaji…habis kursus/training patah balik pi tebiat lama. Buat apa? 

I’m so tired of being stuck like this. MOVE ON, PLEASE!


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